Your Nightstand Is a Biohazard—Start With Your Sex Toys
· Vice
Your nightstand might look sexy and harmless, but if you haven’t cleaned that drawer in a while, congrats, sexy. You’ve basically been curating a tiny, chaotic Petri dish of cum dust, lube residue, and questionable life choices.
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Yeah. You’re gonna want to deep cleaning your sex toy drawer, but with special attention to the toys that literally spend most of their time inside of you.
Why It’s Important to Wash Your Sex Toys
We’re not going to judge you based on the last time you cleaned your toys but…. let’s not go too long without doing that moving forward. Unsanitary toys can lead to fungal infections, yeast infections, urinary tract infections… Literally any kind of infection can breed and grow without good hygiene. That’s not even considering sexually transmitted infections.
As Planned Parenthood shared, infections can be spread if the objects are shared and someone has an infection. AKA: If one lover has an infection, and you’re not cleaning toys, you can pass on those germs to yourself and other lovers when using that same toy.
How Long Do Sex Toys Last?
By the grace of science and every higher power, most sex toys are meant to last up to a decade. That means that you don’t have to go through your sex toy drawer or bag every 6 months, as you do with perfume or makeup, to dispose of expired products. Haven’t been doing that? Add that to the list, too.
DOES sex LUBE EXPIRE?
Yes, lube does expire. According to sexual wellness leader Lovehoney and Dr. Megan Fleming, who medically reviewed the article, “If a lube is organic, then, yes, it can expire. This is because all the ingredients are plant-based, which are perishable. Check your labels! Some personal lubricants need to be kept in the fridge, so they last longer.”
The World Health Organization (WHO) says that “lubricants shall have a minimum shelf life of 3 years from the date of manufacture.” Make sure you’re checking your lubes for a shelf life symbol with a number of in it indicating its shelf life.
Some signs that your lube has expired are oil-based lubes smelling rancid, the consistency of water-based lubes being… not right or the same as when you first opened it. Generally, if it’s been a year since you last changed your lube, I’d bet it’s safe to swap it out for a new one. (My credentials? Former sex worker turned sex toy reviewer who experiences pain during sex sometimes. Lube is and has always been my bestie.)
If your lube has expired and you need a new rec, Überlube’s silicone lube is a cult favorite. A lot of women use this exclusively as it’s the least disruptive to their vagina’s pH—and it looks sexy as fuck on the nightstand. It’s also compatible with condoms and most silicone sex toys, so you won’t have to worry about your lube breaking down your most essential products.
(opens in a new window) ÜberlubeSilicone Lube (opens in a new window)
$20.00 at Amazon Buy Now (opens in a new window)WHEN TO THROW OUT SEX TOYs
Do you have any toys that look like they’re on their last leg? Are they peeling or degrading (not like sexually, but physically)? As much as it might be hard to part ways, it’s time to let go. None of your toys should have signs of wear. The second you see that, it’s a wrap for that toy’s life. Once a toy starts breaking down, it’s not just an aesthetic issue—it’s a health and safety problem.
Materials like silicone, rubber, or latex can degrade over time, especially with use, heat, and cleaning. When that happens, tiny cracks, peeling, or a sticky texture can develop, and those imperfections can trap bacteria in ways you can’t fully clean. At that point, even if you’re washing it regularly, it’s not truly hygienic anymore.
There’s also the structural side: a toy that’s cracking or weakening can malfunction, break during use, or expose internal components, which you definitely don’t want anywhere near your body.
So yeah.. if it looks worn out, it is worn out. Kindly move those nostalgic feels to the side and prioritize your sex hygiene.
If you have any jelly sex toys, throw those out ASAP. They’re porous, meaning they have tiny little holes that harbor all types of bacteria that make them not safe for your body… especially, inside of it.
HOW TO CLEAN SEX TOYS
By now, you know that cleaning sex toys is essential. As for how? This might be the most cost-effective area for spring cleaning as you can typically use warm water and antibacterial soap to get the job done. For example, Dial antibacterial soap.
Some men put their sex toys in the dishwasher, especially Fleshlights. However, if you have roommates, maybe skip the dishwasher for warm soap and water, or toy cleaner. If you’re using any sex furniture or bigger toys, make sure you take those apart as much as you can to clean every nook and cranny with warm soap and water, as well.
(opens in a new window) LELOAntibacterial Toy Cleaning Spray (opens in a new window)
$58.99 at Ella Paradis Buy Now (opens in a new window)LELO’s antibacterial toy cleaner is like grabbing Clorox wipes to clean the kitchen countertops after dinner. Is it super thorough? Eh. But it gets the job done quickly. LELO’s spray has the same effect, but it’s safe for sex products. It’s a quick, spray-and-wipe formula that kills up to 99.9% of surface bacteria, so your toys stay clean without turning your aftercare into cleanup on aisle 10. Think: hand sanitizer but for your toys.
(opens in a new window) LovehoneySuper Fresh UV Sex Toy Cleaning Pouch (opens in a new window)
$69.99 at Lovehoney Buy Now (opens in a new window)You already have an Alexa, Ring camera, and basically a smart house. Did you know that you can make toy cleaning smart, too? If you’re a lover of high-tech options that make your life easier, Lovehoney’s UV Toy Cleaning Pouch is the way to go. It takes cleaning from another dusty chore to “I’ll take care of that for you.”
Instead of spraying, soaking, and rinsing, this thing uses UV light to zap up to 99.9% of bacteria in about three minutes. Just toss your toy in, press the button, and let it do its thing. If this sounds insane, it’s because the tech behind this is, and there aren’t many on the market. Out of all options, though, Lovehoney’s is the best bang for your buck.
Oh, and it’s USB-powered for convenience, and doubles as storage, so you can keep your toys clean and tucked away for round two.
ELEVATE YOUR SEX HYGIENE
Sex hygiene is paramount. Not just for STI prevention, but for the long-term health of your genitals. Adding sex wipes to your sex drawer is a good hack for anyone with sensitive genitals who has to be uber mindful of ingredients. They’re great for when you or your partner has a huge load, accidentally uses too much lube, or anything that gets quite messy.
Sexual wellness brand Mila sells Bare wipes, which are collagen-infused wipes designed for sex. There’s no such thing as sex that’s too messy when you have wipes on hand. They’re also infused with aloe vera and green tea, which are known to soothe the skin, especially down there. No worries about it fucking up your pH, it’s designed to work with your body during its kinkiest moments.
(opens in a new window)Vanilla Bare Collagen Wipes (1-pk, 30 wipes) (opens in a new window)
$29.99 at Mila Buy Now (opens in a new window)Make sure you’re getting tested (full panel STI test) in between sexual partners to not only ensure your health, but also theirs. Can’t remember the last time you got tested? Go ahead and run to the clinic for some support. They also give out top-tier free contraception if that’s not enough of an incentive.
storage that won’t kill the mood
Tired of opening your sex drawer and being met with a ball of tangled chargers, dirty sex toys, and condoms? Instead of the chaotic “everything drawer,” try Openmity’s luxurious sex toy storage box with a code lock. You get a lockable, compartment-heavy system that brings organization to the chaos. No more worrying if anyone will spot your Fleshlight or clit sucker. Everything has a place, which sounds irrelevant until you realize how annoying untangling a ball of cords is when you just want to get off.
The different-sized pouches keep your sex life in order by separating tiny toys from the ones that require warning labels or emotional preparation. From the outside, it looks like something you’d bring on a business trip. Inside, it’s an organized control center for your pleasure.
(opens in a new window) OpenMityLuxurious Sex Toy Storage Box With Code Lock (opens in a new window)
Available at Etsy Buy Now (opens in a new window)Dame’s stash bag is one of those unassuming products that’s actually clutch AF. You can keep this in your boudoir to stash condoms, lubes, and sex toys. And when you’re traveling, you can pop that same bag into your suitcase for travel. (Literally what I do). Treating sex like taboo makes life harder, and for my kinky ass, I need my sex life (and products) to be just as accessible and functional as my makeup bag. This is exactly that. A makeup bag that fits my rabbit vibrator, clit sucker, travel-sized lube, and hella condoms.
(opens in a new window) DameStash Bag (opens in a new window)
$25 at Amazon Buy Now (opens in a new window)Most importantly, after doing your spring cleaning, go have fun!!! Explore, explore, explore. The whole purpose of spring cleaning is to clear space and make room, especially for more orgasms and new experiences in bed.
The post Your Nightstand Is a Biohazard—Start With Your Sex Toys appeared first on VICE.